Interview Friday- Wife Coach Amanda Davison

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I'm so excited to begin a new Interview Friday series! My friend Amanda Davison is a wife coach  with a Masters in Counseling. She's also full of everyday life wisdom about marriage. I love her thoughts and insights and I know you will too! 

Q. In three sentences or less, tell us about yourself.

I’m a cut-to-the-chase kind of gal who’s been known to eat large cookie dough blizzards for dinner and pumpkin pie for breakfast. I’m passionate about my husband and three littles, as well as wives coming to know that there is so much more life and love found when everything is surrendered to Christ.

Q. Amanda, you are passionate about helping wives love their husbands more. Tell us more about that.

I am, however not in the way you’d think. When I was so unhappy in my own marriage, I was not interested in loving my husband more - I was interested in what I could do to get him to love me more.

I didn’t know any different and truly thought he wasn’t appreciating me ‘enough’ - when in fact I was looking for anything or anyone to justify my selfish needs.

My world changed when my Masters in Counseling wasn’t helping my own marriage, and I finally gave up trying every which way to change my husband. I was a Christian and doing all of the ‘right’ Christian things, but had not fully given everything to Christ. So I finally did, and boy did He have work to do in me!

So I’m not even sure I’m passionate about loving our husbands more - it’s for sure important. But I’m most passionate about helping wives learn how to love God more and experience His love more. Through this, we naturally love others well, including our husbands.

Q. Your husband is a farmer. What is it like being a farmer’s wife?

Girl, it’s hard. It’s no joke! There are three seasons where I am home with the kids, managing the house, doing the discipline and doing the errands and running - alone. And it’s hard. I’ve never been one to appreciate the change of the seasons as I do now. For the first few years of our marriage, I was angry with my husband because of his career choice (#truth) and took it out on him. I made his day more difficult by reminding him how hard life was at home and making him feel bad whenever he was home.

Thankfully, God has done some - okay a lot - of work in me, and I see now the beauty in the life we have, and what I once was frustrated about, I’m now (most days) proud of. Farming has shown us what a team really looks like, it’s forced us to communicate more clearly in less time, it’s reminded us that we miss each other, and it’s given us sweet family time when other families aren’t able to be together.

Q. What is your greatest advice to women who feel stuck in their marriage, but want to see it thrive again? 

I’d say a lot - but I’ll try to keep it short!

Re-evaluate your goal. If your goal is to have a better marriage, you’re missing the point. As children of God we are called to be on mission for God - and this should be our goal. Your purpose and my purpose is the same, which is to go and make disciples! So focus on this. Focus on putting Christ first in your day and throughout your day. Get serious about being in the Word - not for your benefit but to simply know your Creator. Fall in love with your Maker, and he will transform your heart in your marriage.

Also, it’s not about you. Oh, how I wish someone would’ve told me this. Listen - it’s pretty simple. If you are a Christian, and you understand that Jesus died for your sins, and that you’re here to make disciples, then you must understand that the way you make disciples is by living like Jesus lived. And Jesus just wasn’t interested in reciprocation. Or waiting on people to do things for him first. Or shaming people into doing things. Or holding things over people. Or withholding love. We aren’t asked to respect our husbands once they’ve gained it - we’re just asked to respect them. Let’s start living out the Gospel in the most important earthly relationship we have!

I have a whole Sunday Message on this that you can watch, here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsnJ-uMRVt8&t=2178s (starts about 36 mins in).

Q. If women want to hear more about how to love their husbands well, what are some of your favorite posts you recommend to them?

I would first caution your heart and ask the Lord for discernment when reading books/blogs, as so many (even Christian!) set your heart up for further disappointment. Remember - if you grow closer to Christ, He’ll change your heart for your husband!

A must read for all wives is You and Me Forever by Francis and Lisa Chan. https://www.youandmeforever.org/story/

I also love Shauna Niequists’ wisdom: https://www.shaunaniequist.com/

Q. Do you and your husband have any fun Valentine’s Day plans?

We are pretty simple, and I gave up my unrealistic expectations of a surprise tropical trip (thank you Jesus for hitting me across the head) and now savor the real-life messy moments - so we will likely do what we usually do, which is get a few heart-shaped pizzas from Papa Murphys and some Dairy Queen blizzards and enjoy them as a family!

Where can we find you?

Instagram: amandakdavison

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AmandaKDavison/

Website: http://www.amandadavison.com/

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Kristin Milner